


Something's Phishy

by Dreamin



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Matchmaking, Prompt Fill, ShieldShock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:18:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamin/pseuds/Dreamin
Summary: Friday decides to play matchmaker, with a little help.





	Something's Phishy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afteriwake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/gifts).



> Based on a prompt from afteriwake.

“Come on…” Steve muttered as he searched his freezer. _Pizza, hot dogs, burgers, buns, popsicles…_ “I thought I had one more.”

“May I help you with something, Captain?” Friday asked pleasantly.

“I thought there was another Phish Food in here.” No one but Friday knew that it was his comfort food, something he ate when the pressure of being Captain America and an Avenger was too much to handle or when he was hit with a sudden bout of homesickness for the world he’d left behind.

“You ate the last one last month, remember? Right after the paparazzi found you taking a nap in Central Park.”

“Right,” he muttered as he closed the freezer door. It had been a glorious summer day and he’d found the perfect tree to sit under and watch the world go by. _I knew a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses wasn’t enough of a disguise but I just wanted fifteen minutes of peace. All it took was for one fan with a cell phone to upload a photo to Twitter and the paparazzi came running._ “I thought you were going to remind me to get more when I ran low.”

“Apologies, Captain. Won’t happen again.”

“Right.” _If Friday’s glitching, I should tell Tony._

“Ms. Lewis has an unopened pint, perhaps you could ask her if she’ll let you have it.”

“Darcy?” he asked, surprised. Jane’s self-described “lab monkey” looked like a pin up and was sassy enough to fit right in with the other residents of Avengers Tower, but also so sweet at times that Steve worried that living fully in the Avengers’ world would take that from her.

“She’s the only Ms. Lewis in the building,” Friday said, a smirk evident in her voice. “She’s at home and in a good mood at the moment.”

Steve smiled a bit. “I get the feeling you’re not going to let this drop until I ask her.”

“That would be correct.”

“Alright, alright.” He went to the foyer, put on his sneakers, then left his apartment and headed for the elevator.

* * *

“Oh my freaking God, I can’t be out,” Darcy groaned in frustration as she searched her freezer. “I know I had a pint left.”

“Is something wrong, Ms. Lewis?” Friday asked.

“Yeah, I’m PMSing like you wouldn’t believe, I don’t have any of the ingredients to make brownies, and my last pint of Phish Food apparently grew legs and walked out of my freezer.” _Since Bruce’s lab is one floor up, that idea’s not nearly as impossible as it should be._

Friday chuckled. “You ate your last pint three weeks ago when ‘Asshole Andy’ broke up with you via text.”

“Oh. Right.” _That jerk wasn’t even worth eating a pint over, let alone my last one._

“Capt. Rogers has a pint. I’m sure he would let you have it if you asked.”

 _She’s right, Steve’s a sweetheart. He’d give me the shirt off his back if I needed it. Mmm, shirtless Steve…_ Shaking her head a bit to clear the too-good image from her head, she closed the freezer door. “Is Steve at home?”

“Yes, though I suggest you hurry, he’s going out soon.”

“Out? Does he have a date or something?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

 _It’s a date._ Pushing aside the sudden and inexplicable disappointment, she went back to her bedroom and got dressed ( _can’t have Steve thinking I live in my pjs all day_ ) then headed for her front door.

* * *

The door opened and Steve couldn’t help staring at the woman in front of him. “Um, Darcy, hi.”

Darcy stared back. “Hi, Steve. It’s so weird, I was just on my way to see you.”

He raised an eyebrow, a suspicion forming rapidly in his mind. “It wouldn’t happen to be Friday’s idea, would it?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because she told me to come see you.”

Both of them looked at each other then at the ceiling. “Friday?”

The AI was uncharacteristically silent.

“I thought at first she was glitching,” Steve said, “but now I think she’s up to something.”

“Like what?” Darcy asked warily.

“Matchmaking.” Steve didn’t know which was cuter – Darcy’s sudden blush or the way her big blue eyes got even bigger as she stared at him.

“Wait, Friday thinks you and I would be good together?” she asked, incredulous. “I mean, I know she doesn’t actually have eyes, but she can scan things, so she has to ‘see’ that you and I are, well…” Her blush deepened.

“Yes?” he asked, enjoying himself thoroughly.

“We’re, like, complete opposites. I mean, you’re Captain freakin’ America, hottest guy on the planet, not to mention the nicest guy on the planet, and I’m just … me,” she finished lamely.

Steve’s grin widened. “Then it’s a good thing I happen to like ‘just you.’”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I have a thing for sweet and sassy brunettes.”

“You … you think I’m sweet?”

“Sweeter than the Phish Food I came down here looking for.”

She scowled in confusion. “Then, you don’t have a date?”

He said, confused, “Why would I have a date tonight? I’m not seeing anyone.”

Darcy glanced up at the ceiling then back at him, grinning. “I guess Friday does know what she’s doing. I’m all out of Phish Food too but Jane keeps a pint of every Ben & Jerry’s flavor in the lab’s break room.” At his confused look, she added, grinning, “Thor likes Ben & Jerry’s almost as much as Jane likes Pop Tarts. He’ll come down and eat a pint or three while he watches Jane work.”

Steve had to chuckle at the thought of the Asgardian happily eating pint after pint as his girlfriend learned the secrets of the universe. “They won’t mind us taking one?”

“It’ll be fine – I’ll pay Jane back in the morning. One’s enough?”

He nodded. “We can share … unless you don’t want to?”

Darcy grinned again. “I’d love to. We can come back here to eat it – I’ve got the latest _Star Wars_ movie, I heard you like those.”

Steve chuckled. “I’ve found I like any franchise where the title starts with ‘Star’ – _Wars_ , _Trek_ , _-gate_ , you name it.”

“Great! When we’re done with _Episode Whatever Number It Is We’re On Now_ , we can watch _Star Trek into Darkness_ and you can tell me whether you think the bad guy looks like Strange too.”

He grinned. “It’s a date.”

* * *

“How many sit-ups do you think it’ll take to burn all this off?” Clint asked, already halfway through his pint of ill-gotten Phish Food. He was sitting on Nat’s overstuffed sofa with his feet on the coffee table.

Nat, who was just opening hers, smirked. “More than you can do at one time, I know that.” She was curled up in the nearby matching chair.

“Man, I hope Friday wants to set up Sam next – he loves giant gummy bears.”

She thought it over while she ate the first spoonful. “You know … Maria has a standing order for those big boxes of Godiva.”

The two of them grinned at each other then looked up at the ceiling. “Friday?”

* * *

“So, why Phish Food?” Darcy asked as she took another spoonful. They were sitting on her sofa, passing the pint back and forth between them as the movie played.

“To be honest-”

“Are you ever dishonest?” she cut in, grinning.

Steve smirked. “Only about the little things. As I was saying, to be honest, I don’t know. I guess I thought the name was funny and the description sounded good. It’s my comfort food.”

“Mine too! A friend in high school got me hooked on it. I only eat it when I’m desperate for chocolate. It’s, er, that time of the month and **please** tell me I don’t have to elaborate.” She passed him the pint.

Steve chuckled has he ate a spoonful. “No, that’s a saying I understand.”

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you need it?”

“It just … hit me that I don’t have anything in common with women my age.”

Darcy smirked. “You’re right – most centenarian ladies these days are a lot more worldly than you are.”

He chuckled. “I mean my, er, physical age. It’s hard to relate to a woman who grew up in the ‘80s and ’90s when I grew up in the ‘20s and ‘30s. Makes it really hard to date.”

“I’ll bet. So, instead of favorite Saturday morning cartoons and after school TV shows, maybe you can find something else in common.” She grinned. “Like favorite ice cream flavors.”

Steve smiled a bit. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” Friday muttered. “Ask the girl out, Steven, before I do it for you.”

“FRIDAY!”


End file.
